[Extract from the book 'Love is Always Right' written by Vinita Dawra Nangia and published in The times of India dated 05th March, 2017 (Sunday)]
"Take a deep breath; keep it in as long as you can; exhale till you are empty of breath. Now, exhale some more", said my yoga instructor. Really? How can you possibly exhale more after you are 'empty'? Try, he encouraged. And sure enough, some breath still whooshed out with the effort. Interesting. What I thought was my limit after all. I could still go beyond. That encouraged me to wonder what other limits are we capable of crossing - the good and the bad. What is the worse that we are capable of doing if pushed to the edge? Also, what is the best we can do - and under what conditions?
Challenging oneself beyond perceived physical limits is a regular routine for sportspeople, adventure-seekers, bungee-jumpers, mountain-climbers, cyclists, swimmers and marathoners. It is also experienced in everyday life in doses when we set ourselves small challenges. And of course, we all know how at times of crisis, our limits stretch beyond imagination. You can run much faster and exhibit far greater strength and prowess in order to save your life or that of a loved one, than you can in normal circumstances. But this is all positive - what about the negatives? For instance, do you think you are capable of violence or murder? How would you know unless you are pushed to the limits of anger and helplessness. Sometimes, it requires as much strength to push back from those limits as it does to push beyond them. When you see red, you know that to give in is to explode. And so you make a conscious decision to step back. Reason and fear help you do that. But, what if you are pushed beyond the limits of reason and fear? Would you then give in to the Dark Beyond?
Knowing your limits is important in order to understand how far beyond these boundaries you can push. But, also to know the point beyond which you must not push, because pushing beyond that could prove counter-productive. That is the point from where you need to start stepping back and strategising. Not always because pushing those limits may be illegal or unethical, but most times to conserve the limited time and energy you have for meaningful things.
You could be a great musician, but not the greater singer. You may be a wonderful poet but not necessarily a fiction writer. You may be a great professional, but not a leader. It pays to understand your limitations in order to ditch those and stand steady by your strengths. You need to strike a fine balance between your capabilities and understanding them. That balance helps one make the most of time, energy, capabilities and potential.
Overconfidence and relentless crossing over boundaries in the wrong direction can negative efforts and render you ineffective. For instance, not being able to say no to demands on our time leads to a frustrated day and dissatisfaction all round. Similarly, in a limited lifespan, frittering away time in useless activity or trying to do things that are beyond our capacity would be a sad waste of a life. Also, in a sea of unlimited ideas, it is prudent to focus on the most feasible and doable ones. In trying to please others we not only waste time, but also push ourselves beyond the limits of patience. In relationships, it is important to understand and signify your limits to another. Else, you are bound to end up frustrated and at some point lash out in rage.
Intelligent people not only get a good grasp of their unique qualities, but also of their limitations. They know just how much to push to achieve the seemingly impossible. They also know how to step back against the actually impossible!
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